Yes, I love me.
Out loud I was saying, “Don’t be him, don’t be him.” In my head I wondered what if it was him? In my heart, I was secretly wishing it was him.
If they say you never truly forget your first “love”, why is it him? It was a sixth grade “romance”. I was stupid…the break up was stupid…the thing after that, well, that was completely mental.
Is it because in a very wrong and stupid way he saved me? Is it because whenever I feel that way I think of that moment and instantly change my tune; knowing that life is more than that.
Out of all the “relationships” I’ve had, I don’t know why this one hits me hard. I blush when his name gets mentioned and sometimes, I even get the whole ‘butterflies in the stomach’ deal.
We’re from completely different crowds. Somehow I feel that we could be a serial killer couple (that’s a joke by the way. My friends tell me all the time that they could see me as a murderer. My mom told me that his stare was like he was going to kill you).
I had to get this out. It’s been messing with my mind. Fuck it by Eamon, I think another dose is in order.
I’d rather write horrible shitty romance novels (stories) than be in one.
I don’t know if I like him or if I just like the thought of liking him.
My mom told him to take me to the movies (to see X-Men again).
Kinda glad he said no because I don’t know anything about him except that he’s 19 and works at work…oh and that he wants some Metallica on the next CD.
Granted he said no because he was going with his friends, who finally learned to stop talking at the movies and he hadn’t seen them in a while.
Ugh the emotional plucking of the flower petals: I like him, I like him not.
Leave a message and if we’re not too busy fighting, we might get back to you.
I remember the days when me and my cousins wanted to get into the movie business. We were going to be The Avery Girls Productions. We always acted out movies using us or barbies/bratz. We even filmed a movie once. We were so proud of it but when I think back on it now, it was pretty shitty. The plot was good, though we never described who the tree loving people were or where they came from. I was a boy named Andrew who like worked at a gas station or something like that. My oldest cousin was the villain and the camera man, so the villain became invisible due to the lack of subjects. We had our other cousin, who was five or six at the time, be the evil baby guard. He stole the movie with his one line “why is you here?” We started another one, since at the end after defeating the villain I pass out for some godly reason, but we only acted it -not filmed it. To think, it all started with my cousin running towards their house from the field and me running from the house to the field.
It started out with me, Michelle, Brad, Derick, and Adam talking about kids. Brad said I wanted eight. When I corrected him, he thought I wanted two boys and two girls. I told him I wanted all boys and he said “that’s the way it should be. I couldn’t handle a girl.” Then he asked Adam how many kids he wanted and he said 2 or 3 (and I’m like, it’s so close). Somehow after Michelle left we started talking about having a party at Adam’s house. He’s home alone for the weekend. Anyway, Brad seemed surprised that I’ve never been to a “party” and the fact that they don’t really interest me.
But I love when things like that happen. It was so random.
But they’re not like just him…they’re group pictures (from a game party and the water ballon fight in the dark over the house).
I was not expecting to see those while flipping though the memories. Hello almost 5 years of being single.
